Written by Katy Goshtasbi
Posted on: June 27, 2022
My husband and I got in a heated discussion the other day. We are looking for new accountants. To us, it’s a big deal: we need both our business returns/tax planning managed, our personal return/tax planning managed PLUS our new non-profit, Josie’s Home, managed.
We met with a potential CPA at a new firm. Afterwards, my husband was really upset with me.
This made me realize sometimes it’s beneficial to speak up, but also not talk so much. Use the power of your voice at the right time.
He said I didn’t let him get a word in during the conversation.
Really? At first I was shocked. Then I knew he had a really good point.
I’m an extrovert. I have no difficulty talking and holding the floor and leading a conversation. I’m a public speaker and a trainer!
So it makes sense that when with introverts (my husband and, likely, any CPA/accountant), I’m going to overtalk them- every.darn.time.
But that wasn’t the real revelation….there was something bothering me after that conversation with my husband….
Why was it then, that I, the self-professed extrovert who could talk and talk, often felt like I wasn’t speaking up for myself?
I then realized, after talking to my husband, that there is a BIG difference between me being able to talk and talk and hold the floor VERSUS knowing the right time to speak up for myself in order to self-express and speak my Truth.
I came to real clarity in that moment! I realized that there are many opportunities where I can stay silent (NOT say a word) because I have no real reason to speak up for myself. Then there are the harder moments, when I do need to speak up for myself, BUT I chicken out and just talk and talk and talk to avoid expressing my eternal Truth.
If my breast cancer journey taught me anything, it’s that I MUST state my Truth and live my authentic and best life–for my sake and for the sake of others.
What does this mean for you? Stop and consider:
• How often do you over-talk just to get out nervous energy or feel good about holding the floor and getting attention?
• How often are you present enough to realize when you need to speak up for yourself and own your truth- preferably in as few words as possible?
• EXERCISE: next time you want to speak your truth, stop and search for the least words, and yet the MOST POWERFUL words that are kind, gentle, compassionate for everyone’s sake AND still allow you to feel good about yourself because you are owning who you are and speaking up.
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