Written by Katy Goshtasbi
Posted on: July 6, 2022
Have you ever accidentally swallowed a giant chunk of ice? I have. The realization that you have to wait for relief until the ice melts is painful. So is the actual pain of the ice stabbing my throat and then the “brain freeze”. If you’ve never experienced it, check it out. Just kidding!
Last week I had a client email me from overseas. He congratulated me on gracefully navigating my breast cancer journey. He said, “[i]t’s a sign of the deep inner work you had already been doing before the diagnosis.”
His kind statement was a sign for me. It made me really stop and take it all in. I have been doing deep inner work for a. very. long. time.
Doing the deep inner work is fruitful. It allows me to access those unconscious trauma points (yes, you have them, too- don’t pretend I’m not talking to you) that would otherwise keep me stuck, stale and unhappy. No one needs a stuck, stale and unhappy brand. Especially not you.
Doing the deep inner work got me through breast cancer…and any other trauma in my life.
For instance, just yesterday I was working on my issues around money and any pain I still have around the concept of money. I unearthed a treasure trove when I realized in my meditation that when I was a young child I overheard my parents talking about not having a particular “thing” that I needed. I heard that statement and made it about me- all these years later.
How is that possible? Really easy. My young mind made it happen to keep me safe. But guess what? “We don’t have X item” does NOT equal “Katy is not worthy”! It may be obvious to you, but it wasn’t obvious to me…until I did the deep inner work on myself.
All that to say, doing deep inner work is also painful. In some ways, it’s easier than choking on ice. In many ways, it’s way worse…
These days, whether you want to or not you are likely to have been doing/should be doing deep inner work on something. Take the overruling of Roe vs. Wade by the US Supreme Court. I believe the ruling was a sign for all of us.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum of this issue, it’s a sign for all of us to wake up and see the humanity in others with whom we may not agree. I may not share the viewpoint that a fetus’ life is more valuable than the mother’s life (and what about these children’s lives after they are born? Will those justices who overturned the law be taking in all the newborns and mothers and paying for their upbringing themselves?). However, I can stop and listen to the other side with compassion and intellect, not pure emotion.
Did the justices of the US Supreme Court apply this same logic? Likely not. The conflicting language in the opinion itself shows that neither side really wants to put themselves in the other’s shoes. They bicker like kids…with the lives of others at stake. As a lawyer, it really made me sad. I will never again value the US Supreme Court.
What’s in this for you? Stop and consider any issue you have with someone else.
Maybe it’s a sign for you to do some deep inner work and not have it be as painful as choking on ice:
• Are you willing to stop long enough to hear them out AND to put yourself in their shoes on this issue?
• If not, why?
• How does it make you feel when you don’t choose to allow others the freedom to be who they are? Do you really feel empowered? Or do you just feel more angry and unable to have inner peace?
• How does it make you feel when others don’t allow you the freedom to be who you are?
• What’s one small step you can take next time you find yourself in this situation? I guarantee you that life will keep serving it up to you. Maybe it won’t be the same magnitude as abortion and human rights issues, but still….
Up for coaching? I’m right here for you whenever you are ready to reach out. Or not. You are free and strong and can decide for yourself.
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