Written by Katy Goshtasbi
Posted on: August 7, 2018
There are days when I just don’t want to talk to people that much. Sometimes my hormones get the best of me and things people say just offend me and make me feel unloved and upset. Below is my approach on how to boost self-confidence and thus, how I find value in myself. When I have my low moments of self-confidence- and there are many- there is something very important to stop and look at for myself.
First, what is my trigger?
It is always stress. A decade ago I did formal research into the impact of stress and self-confidence. All my research is documented. Here’s the gist of it: As my formal research shows, there’s a direct, inverse, correlation between our stress and our self-confidence. As stress goes up, and it does even for the most self-confident person, our self-confidence starts to proportionally drop. Here’s a link to my formal research summary.
Why? Stress triggers our body to respond and our mind and behavior to follow suite. What’s the result? Our brand value diminishes which really means we don’t emotionally resonate anymore with our audience- whether that’s a prospective client, a date, our partner, our family, our colleagues or boss. You name it- it’s not working for us. We are not as likeable as we could be.
Second, how do I know about my trigger and my response? That’s all about self-awareness.
If I’m not self-aware enough to stop and realize that I’m upset and offended by others and thus, feeling stress and low in self-confidence, then how can I ever fix it? I’m constantly monitoring my physical body for signs of stress, followed by what comes out of my mouth (ie, my verbal communication) and my mind for indications that I’m low in self-confidence and in need of regrouping- or taking a time-out to fix myself. This is all about driving behavior! Only then can I find value in myself. It took me a long time to realize (and it is a daily practice even today) that no one sets my value and worth- that’s all me. It only comes from me accepting and loving myself every day. Only then will others accept my brand and love my brand. This may sound simple- and it is. However, it’s not so easy.
So what are steps you can take to practice for yourself and build a stellar brand that works for you? Stop and consider:
- How often and how much stress do you have in your life?
- What are you doing about it? Why or why not?
- Where does your stress manifest in your body? Just know in those moments that your self-confidence is lower, too, and that you are not emotionally resonating a brand that sells you to your audience.
- How self-aware are you as you go throughout your day?
- If you are not very self-aware, what’s one thing you can do every day to stay self-aware? Maybe it’s as easy as setting a post-it note up in front of you to remind yourself to be self-aware? I have so many post-it notes, that I often chuckle. But they work for me!!
The most important thing I want you to remember is that change is necessary and not often fun. Doing what we’ve always done definitely always feels safer. However, it doesn’t get us results and we don’t grow. So be brave and take small steps to grow as a person. I promise you that you won’t regret it. I’m here to support you. Just tell me how and we’ll get you on your way.
Want more tips and support? Download my free Branding Made Easy Guide here.