Written by Katy Goshtasbi
Posted on: July 12, 2023
Do you remember that song by the Beach Boys, “Good Vibrations”? Turns out the Beach Boys were much more in tune to the reality of life than I ever gave them credit for. In this post, I will discuss why your Emotional Resonance Factor® strategy is your easy path to not feeling lonely and succeeding professionally and personally, too.
The Challenge: Isolation, Introverts and Loneliness
Over the years, I’ve been told by countless professionals who label themselves as introverts that they cannot get clients nor service clients well. They feel self-conscious, awkward, shy, scared, often saying that they don’t know what to do with their arms, don’t know what to say and on and on. The list is endless, real and so is their fear.
The pandemic has only made this problem worse. As a self-proclaimed extrovert, I even feel a bit awkward in social settings at times. That’s what sitting at home for 2+ years does for us all.
Along with social isolation, comes feelings of loneliness. Loneliness and the feeling of not being seen isn’t a new challenge for humans. I’ve personally grappled with feelings of not feeling worthy in my life more often than I care to admit- and it has nothing to do with the pandemic or being an introvert (I’m an extrovert, remember?).
Post-pandemic, many more of us are also showing up as extremely lonely, despite a busy schedule and lucrative careers. I know I do. I’ve often shared with colleagues that the practice of coaching and consulting is very lonely for me these days. I simply need more than Zoom meetings all day long. I miss the days of weekly travel to clients and regular keynote presentations and trainings. I miss people around me. I miss their energy, their presence and interacting with them verbally and nonverbally.
Loneliness has gotten to a point where the Surgeon General has issued an advisory regarding the problem and the healing effects of social connection and community.
The Solution: Emotional Resonance Building
The term resonance is defined as, a reinforcement of sound (as a musical tone) in a vibrating body or system caused by waves from another body vibrating at nearly the same rate.
In the field of science, resonance plays a very important part. Think physics, engineering and medicine.
If “resonance” means one object’s vibrational frequency due to exposure to a similar vibrational frequency by another source, then it must apply to humans. When one person vibrates or resonates at a particular frequency, then another person does the same.
I bet you have experienced this phenomenon. What happens when you are around nervous or anxious people? If you are anything like me, you want to turn and run away from anxious and nervous people because you start to feel nervous and anxious all of a sudden, too. That’s not in your head. It’s real.
Emotional resonance is a way of promoting well-being in humans AND allowing professionals (even introverts) to relate to other professionals, prospective clients and current clients.
Research on the brain shows that your brain is involved in how you emotionally resonate outward and how you are impacted by the “vibe” of another person. Specialized cells called mirror neurons become activated, not just when we act but when we see another person acting the same way as us. This is the reason why in the coaching world, we often teach clients to practice “mirroring” someone with whom they are trying to connect. It’s also referred to by some as entrainment, where your behavior is modified to be in rhythm with another.
If you can mirror another and feel their plight, then you are emotionally resonating with them. This ability to connect and mirror allows us to develop emotional empathy for one another. When you feel for someone else, they can feel it, too. They start to trust you more and more because they feel safe with you. You’re safe for the other person because you’re more like them than different. Likeness feels comfortable to humans.
This is the start to healthy relationships and well-being for all of us. This is also the start to professionals being able to show up and more naturally share their message, connect with prospective clients, colleagues and superiors.
My process of working with clients on emotional resonance has many steps and doesn’t produce results overnight. It’s tailor made to you and your strengths.
Want to learn more?
Sign up for my intro to Emotional Resonance Factor® mini-course.
Sign up for my Deep Dive Assessment and let’s see how we can tailor it for you and your team.