Written by Katy Goshtasbi
Posted on: October 31, 2016
So many of us are self-proclaimed “introverts”. I have no judgments on introverts or extroverts. I think both works well in society. Yet, I put “introverts” in quotes because I often feel that once we are labeled as such, or self-label, then things become final and we don’t want, or worse yet, believe we can change if we want to change some aspect of our being that we attribute to being an introvert.
I watch so many of my clients go through this cycle. It pains them to feel trapped in a box and it pains me to watch them struggle with it so much. My goal is for clients to either be fine with who they are as introverts, or choose to see things differently for themselves (change some things?) and be fine with who they are.
Here’s some tips that I find works with my clients:
- Thin out the wall between your personal and business life- Many introverts are very private. I respect that. However, private often is perceived as “quiet”, which can mean that we see you as shy but we really infer you are emotionally disconnected. Either way, it means you are not relating to your audience and emotionally connecting with us.
Being quiet is fine at the right time. It’s ok to be a private person. Yet, when we know very little about you, perhaps you are “quiet” for us in a negative way.
Perhaps consider dropping the wall (or maybe just slim down the wall) between your personal and business life. Let us in a bit- tell us more about your life- family, growing up, etc. You are still in control, but sharing more of you.
- Smile more- otherwise we may think you are snooty, when the truth is that you are not. When in doubt about how to be, just smile.
- Know your limits and be courageous- if you are uncomfortable at an event, know when the time comes for you to leave (because the lights and noise and small talk are just too much to take). Yet, have harmony with also being courageous enough to hit up against your comfort zone and try new things- small steps are fine.
If you found this helpful, please share it with others. I’d love to hear your feedback. Just email me.