As an immigrant fleeing a war-torn Iran in 1979, I grew up with real “fear” in my life. There were decades where I was afraid to say out loud where I was born for fear of being judged. This fear showed up in all aspects of my life- my friendships, my family relationships, my career. 

I adapted every part of my life to fit in and not stand out. I went to law school and became a successful investment management lawyer, denying my “female” in order to fit into a male world. I shunned who I truly was. I played small. 

I had no idea what embracing my feminine energy really meant. What would it mean to be a well-balanced woman who could hold positive masculine energy in her body and soul AND display her divine feminine energy…at the same time, in harmony? 

I didn’t even know enough to ask this question. I had never even seen assertiveness role modeled by a woman as I grew up. All I knew was aggression as a form of female “power”. 

While most would say I am an incredibly courageous woman, I had no idea what courage really meant for me. I often worried that if I stepped into my power and was assertive and direct, I would end up hurting people. Being born in Iran, despite not being Muslim, I learned that being a self-expressed woman is not allowed. Add to this, growing up as a young investment management lawyer in a man’s world where the legal industry rules and standards kept me “in my place”.

Courage seemed like an unreal word that would never be a part of my reality. 

Until one day, I was sick and tired of my own silly lies that kept me from my purpose and potential. I knew I had big things to do in the world. I knew I was being a chicken sh*t, hiding while others could benefit from my wisdom and power.  

For 2026, my word of the year is “courage”.

I decided that I am only as courageous as I say I am and that so many people would appreciate and benefit from the gift of experiencing my live coaching because of my courage.

Recently, I spent seven days in London where I had to face all my fears. These were not the fears you would think of, like fear of small spaces (although I did get stuck in an elevator when the power went out briefly), or fear of heights. These fears were about owning my greatness and showing up in a capacity that would transform those around me. These fears involved harmonizing and balancing my female and masculine energies. About letting go of my old stories that kept me safe and playing small…about surrendering with trust to a path in my life that was undefined and yet….so clear.

I felt like I was in a pressure cooker for most of the week- stewing, seething, stuck in my old comfortable ways and dying to embrace my courage. What was I doing? Who cares. All that matters is that I was scared and I still showed up and transformed in service of everyone I know- including myself.

Each day in London, I found myself shedding more fears and trusting in my intuition and what I knew in my soul to be the real me. It felt like I was clearing up generational trauma.

Was it easy? NO. I cried, I had many sweaty conversations. I lost my appetite and sometimes felt SO needy. Was it simple? In the end, it is simple to be our genuine selves. 

What does this mean for you? Stop and consider:

• Where in your life are you playing small? You may know you are playing small when you wake up frustrated or irritable often, wondering what else there is to your life.
• Do you ever feel like your voice is not being heard, even like you are suffocating? Where do you feel it in your body?
• Maybe you actually don’t use your voice and people tell you that you speak too “softly” or are quiet more often than you’d like. If this is your pattern, then you are ready to step up into your greatness, too.
• If you are a woman in a man’s profession, do you feel like you’re losing who you are or maybe you never knew who you were as a woman?
• Do you have some fears that embarrass you? You would be mortified if others knew what you fear and how often you are in a state of fear? 
• Are you ultra-high net worth where your legacy is at stake and you’re not sure how to leave a brave, solid legacy for your children and grandchildren? Believe it or not, this is an expression of fear and holding back your power, too.

What’s one small step you can take to identify, if not embrace, your fear?