Katy Goshtasbi, Author at Puris Consulting - Page 4 of 14
Role vs. Identity: Is This Clear Enough?

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

Posted on: February 28, 2022

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Identity versus confusion is a subject that comes up a lot in parenting circles. While the concept seems to go back to your childhood, the results show up in your everyday life- and brand.

Pain hurts. That sounds obvious.

Addressing our pain is even more painful. It’s way easier to ignore our emotional suffering.

In fact, many of you may want to stop reading this post right now because it may be too painful to read.

I get you.

When I changed careers from “securities lawyer” to “branding expert”, the pain of losing my identity was too much to take.

Here’s the thing: I wasn’t losing my identity. I was changing roles.

What Is the Difference Between a Role vs an Identity?

According to Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, between the ages of 12 and 18, we develop a sense of self and face the questions of “who am I” and “where do I fit in?”

It’s not that cut and dry, though. Most of us are constantly evaluating (deep down in our soul) these very important questions.

Answering these questions often leads us to more confusion. Couple this with the crazy pace of life and no wonder we are uneasy, unsure of ourselves and apathetic towards our jobs, circumstances and support system. According to Erikson, weathering crisis helps us find our answers.

Back to me and my shift from lawyer to branding- you may consider this a crisis. It sure felt like one. Here’s how I look at it (then and now): my roles may change, but my identity is always a human being worthy of love and kindness and compassion – from others AND from myself.

In brand development, I often talk about shifting who we are and authentically expressing our truth to our audience.

When you shift and grow, your practice, careers, friends and social circles may shift, too.

There is definitely fear of losing your identity when what used to define your passion and purpose seems gone.

But you are NOT ever losing your identity. You are just iterating your brand role. Your role is not your identity.

I just shifted roles from “lawyer” to “branding” expert. These days, I’m iterating yet again to another role in my business. And it is painful and scary, too.

Why Is Understanding Your Identity Important to Your Role?

Creating clients, making money and being successful is NOT enough.

The trouble that most of us run into is that we are operating so fast and hard from our roles, that we forget to concentrate on our identity. Work takes priority- it feeds us and makes us feel safe. Plus, work is what we “know”. In comparison, our identity often feels like a squishy topic or vague for examination somehow.

But that’s a false belief….

You need to first work on yourself and your identity so you can avoid burnout and choose the roles that serve you and your audience best. This may seem harder than focusing on work- and it can be.

But the pay-off is insanely amazing, freeing and well worth your effort.

Focus on creating the next best version of yourself. Your perfect roles will show up. Only then can we set you up to have a remarkable brand for others to follow.

If you have questions, find me on social media. I’m always happy to be of service and support.


Like this post? Buy Me A Coffee.☕

Need collaboration and support with your brand, dealing with changes/transitions to grow your brand? Check out my services page.

Download my Top 5 Action Steps To Easily and Gracefully Master Change

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The Best Way to Uncover Your Personal Brand Using Personal Brand Examples

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

Posted on: October 18, 2021

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I was talking to a client the other day. Her father passed away in January 2021 two days after my mom died. We were discussing the concept of grief. She wisely mentioned that people seem to think that if you are grieving a loved one’s passing then you are not strong. We decided grief has nothing to do with strength. It’s a process, just like anything else in life.

We also realized that this confusion exists because the concept of death and dying and grief is mischaracterized in public so much.

What does grief have to do with your personal brand and brand examples?

Mischaracterization and confusion exist in both spaces.

There’s so much content out there related to personal branding, with examples of what you should and shouldn’t be doing. It makes my head spin.

Why?

Because at some point, you are inundated with so many different applications of “personal branding” and “personal brand statements and examples” that you forget what you set out to do.

Let me make this super simple using a few personal brand examples that showcase how a personal brand can thrive.

Your personal brand is equal to you knowing WHO you are. That’s it.

Let’s take a good example, Jeff Walker. If you haven’t heard about him, Google him. Jeff Walker has built a HUGE empire over the past decades by teaching people how to launch online businesses…AND love their life. I’m one of his students (or “owners” as he calls us).

Why does his Product Launch Formula work so well? Besides the many years he’s put into perfecting his actual “formula”, the real reason it works so well is because Jeff is himself. His brand is simple, but not easy. Everywhere you look, Jeff shows up (and sells himself) as just a guy who stumbled onto a successful formula. He’s very frank about his passions, his life and his values. It shows in his success and in his loyal fan base.

So using the Jeff Walker example, now you know your personal brand is not your LinkedIn profile or your website. It’s not about photographs of your personal brand. It’s not about statements you make about your brand.

Why?

Every business has a vibe and a frequency. A pulse, if you will. This pulse, vibe or frequency is what will draw others to you.

BUT no business vibe exists without the human vibe or pulse.

Uncovering your own personal brand and who you are allows you to uncover your vibe and pulse as a human. You get to figure out what makes you tick. This, in turn, allows you to match up your business and career brand with your own brand.

Back to Jeff Walker and his personal brand/empire- Jeff is very clear on his strengths and what makes him tick. For instance, he’s super upfront to say he takes all Fridays off to either ski, mountain bike or be in nature. He always shows up in a t-shirt or a long sleeve shirt and jeans. Nothing else. That’s his consistent Colorado vibe.

Can you feel the difference being so authentic can make- for your well-being and your business success?

Can you do this for yourself?

Only then will others stop to notice you. Feel your authenticity. Refer to you. Be your biggest fan and champion.

Want to know where to start? Start by taking some time to really unearth and discover who you are as a human being. Start by writing your first memories that surface. Keep writing. Write what those emotions meant to you. Go slow and be gentle with yourself. This process is exciting…and it can bring out some feelings that may have been buried for quite some time.

Want my help? I’m here for support. Schedule your brand DNA Strategy and Assessment session, a 1:1 meeting for you and I to brainstorm, diagnose and implement your best plan.

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How To Ensure You’re Getting A Fair Slice: Equality & Value & Change

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

Posted on: August 5, 2021

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Ready for a true story….?
 
It was 2002. I was at the law firm in DC practicing. One day I didn’t get assigned work that I thought I should have gotten. Instead it went to one of my male counterparts. I found myself in my office crying out of frustration and anger…..I was so embarrassed and confused.
 
I thought, who cries in their office? ME!
 
When I was a practicing securities lawyer, I often thought about the imbalance between me and my male counterparts. I found myself thinking about this discrepancy TOO MUCH. Was it me, or them, I used to muse?
 
Looking back, now that I know one of my core brand values is fairness, my fascination (obsession?) makes perfect sense.
 
August 26, 2021 is Women’s Equality Day in the United States to commemorate the 19th Amendment allowing women the right to vote. Although not just a national event in the U.S., the first Women’s Equality Day was in 1972 as a result of Nixon signing the congressional proclamation so stating.
 
As such, I want to share tips for women professionals to really be able to capitalize on being equal and having a brand that shows up as equal and then some. The goal is to allow you, as a professional woman, to get better clients and jobs, reclaim your personal time by working less on the nights and weekends and have more time to enjoy the financial freedoms you’ve worked so hard to earn.
 
If you don’t identify as female and you’re reading this, then this is a great opportunity for you to read, learn, gain a new perspective…and use what you learn in support of the women in your life. Your life will be better as a result. I promise!
 
The first challenge with owning our value and feeling equal is being willing to accept the changes that come with being valuable and equal.
 
I remember all my years as a lawyer in corporate America. Every organization I worked for, including the federal government, was a fan of growth and wanted it. Not many wanted to deal with any change that leads to this growth. It was too much and too hard. We are creatures of comfort and habit. It helps to keep our anxiety in check and our fears at bay.
 
You may laugh at me, but this is a topic I think about for myself regularly. Some weird thoughts enter my mind: “If I really own my value and see myself as equal to the superstars in my field, then I could be so much more in the public eye. Then what would happen to my daily life?!”
 
Stupid? Perhaps. A thought of mine that limits me finding and owning my value and thus, equality? Absolutely.
 

So, what does this mean for you? Stop and consider:

1. What are your random thoughts about your value?

2. Do you show up daily with a brand that tells the world that you are equal and just as valuable as your colleagues, competitors, etc? If not, why?

 
While these two questions may be painful and make you squirm, they will get you results in the long run. I know because I’ve seen the positive results of asking myself these very two questions daily.
 
Want more easy tips? Download my free Top 5 Tips Women Lawyers can use to seize your equality and support other women to do the same: https://purisconsulting.com/women-equality-tips/

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Are You Crossing That Fine Line from Self-Marketing to Bragging

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

Posted on: July 26, 2021

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of how to go out “there” and develop new business and/or develop your career.

Here’s the obstacle most of you share with me….

You don’t want to be overly aggressive and bother people.

Makes good sense to me. None of us want to bother someone else. The goal is to support and help your audience, of course.

There definitely is a fine line between being (seen as) too aggressive or bragging AND being too humble, and not self-marketing and hiding in the shadows of your strengths and greatness as a brand. Neither works to help you meet your goals. Neither works to establish likeability or any degree of loyalty with your audience.

How do you know when you’ve crossed that fine line, though…..?

It’s been years since my self-confidence lows have really been an issue for me. But no one is immune from the overbearing ego that tells us we are not good enough, when really we are and should be sharing our greatness with others. Not even me….

I tend to know I’ve crossed that line (in a good way) when it’s not just the fear of being successful or just getting over my self-confidence lows. If I feel happy knowing that I’m going to support someone and really bring them value, then I’ve hit that sweet spot.

What about you?

Comment below and share your thoughts with me about this topic. That’s how we learn and support one another. I read ALL your responses myself.

Here’s to harmonizing that fine line.

PS: Thanks in advance for commenting and sharing your thoughts on when you feel you’ve crossed the line into bragging vs. truly being of service and making sure your audience hears how great you are/how much you can help them. I can’t wait to hear from you so together we can help others learn, too!

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Out of Your Comfort Zone: Personal Branding Activities

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

Posted on: June 17, 2021

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When I first moved to the US, everything and everyone was scary! I was 6 years old and spoke no English. I was utterly confused, displaced and very much out of my comfort zone. It took me time and patience to find some sort of relationship to my comfort zone as I developed my identity and brand. But I did it. These days so many clients discuss with me the various strategies to get out of their comfort zone. One client last week smartly discovered the big secret to stepping out of her comfort zone AND still having fun.

 

Watch the video below and find out the big secret…

 

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Branding Statements & Tips

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

Posted on: June 7, 2021

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When I was little I used to talk A LOT and often. I always had something to say. It was like I had to share my brand with the world (more like my mom, dad and sister!).

Clients often come to me and ask me about having a brand statement that represents them. Here’s what one client, from a major corporation, said on a LinkedIn recommendation about her work with me. She found her voice and brand statement- and uses it well in a large corporate setting, virtually!

“Katy has helped me get more clarity into my strengths and how best to utilize them. She has helped me define my personal brand and be aware of consistently showing up aligned with it. My success at this was reflected in a recent review that literally used adjectives to describe me that were my brand adjectives! I’ve also found her coaching about impactful communications invaluable. I have more confidence now than ever in having sometimes difficult conversations and have become more effective in marketing myself.”

How can you find your brand statement? Here are some tips to consider:

  • Make it personal: business is personal and so is your brand statement. If you tend too much towards being formal and “business-like”, you’ll miss the point and be ineffective.
  • What do others say about you? What others have to say about you is very much your brand statement externally displayed and summarized by your audience.
  • Catalog your “wins”: knowing what you excel at, big and small, is the first step in owning how great you really. Only then can you put it into a statement to the world.

May this inspire you to live your best brand statement.

Much love,

Katy

PS: And whenever you are ready, here are 2 more ways I can guide you to discover/refine your personal brand so you can grow your practice/career, have a practice that authentically represents and get rid of overwhelm/get back your time and personal life:

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How Do I Succinctly & Clearly Tell Others What I do: Online and in-person?

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

Posted on: October 12, 2020

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How Do I Succinctly & Clearly Tell Others What I do: Online and in-person?

You are good at what you do, and you want to help others. So, tell us what you do so I can remember you, hire you, refer you and benefit from you!

How to do so best- is the question I get most often….

The answer is way simpler than we want to believe. It doesn’t involve lots of hoops to jump through or action on your part.

Just a change in mindset to start.

Here’s my top three tips. This is what I do myself. Give it a shot.
 

1.  Slow down

we run fast and hard these days. We did so before the pandemic and now it is even worse. Top brands convey who they are with ease and grace and that’s memorable. Slow down so you can be more self-aware of how your brand is landing on others and so you can know what you want to convey.

  1. Take a few deep breaths
  2. Do less- it always equals more time and impact
  3. Do something for yourself each day- even if super small.

 

2. Know your story

Who are you and why should I even bother to stop and listen? Conveying what you do to your audience is really about them knowing you- the person-and being initially captivated with what comes out of your mouth. Afterwards you can tell me all about how great you are at your profession/career.

  1. Write down your personal story- WHO YOU ARE.
  2. Get comfortable sharing it in bits and pieces with others to naturally leave them curious about you.

 

3. Connect with your optimal audience

Introductions only matter, and stick, if you are conveying them to the people who are your main consumers/audience. Have you stopped and thought about your ideal audience/avatar?

  1. Who is your favorite client/customer/patient? List their characteristics and why you like them for those characteristics.
  2. Now you can start looking for that target audience/avatar and feel confident that you have a good starting point in communicating with those who want to hear from you because they would consume what you are selling them.

 
Want more tips on developing and selling your best brand? Click here to Download Katy’s 3-Step Branding Made Easy guide and let’s go!


Much love,

Katy

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Christine McCarron Podcast #48 Interview with Katy Goshtasbi

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

Posted on: September 16, 2020

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What a pleasure it was to share my resources and experiences in branding with Christina and her audience. Christina is a realtor. There are so many realtors available to choose from these days. How do realtors make themselves memorable so you don’t forget the one that could be a valuable asset to you?

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In House Warrior: Being True to the Lawyers Personal Brand with Katy Goshtasbi and Host Richard Levick

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

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Richard Levick is a friend and colleague from my DC days. Listen to learn the importance of a lawyer’s personal brand and how it can be so effective and necessary with clients and in the legal department to cultivate a diverse culture of efficiency and productivity.

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My Story of Discrimination and How I Handled It

Written by Katy Goshtasbi

Posted on: July 29, 2020

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As published in ThriveGlobal

 

It was a beautiful and sunny Saturday morning. Covid-19 is still raging in California. My husband and I slept in. He made me my favorite pancakes for breakfasts. I have always loved pancakes. As I’ve gotten older, I now appreciate Keto pancakes- just as fulfilling, less likely to add girth to me.
 
After breakfast, we decided to go for our walk. Since Covid-19, we feel like we have to get out and get exercise somehow, so walks are the natural choice. Since we can’t really be around other people, being outside walking makes the most sense.
 
We had gotten tired of walking in our own subdivision, so we decided to venture out into a new subdivision in our neighborhood.
 
We put on our fancy Saturday workout clothes. We took our dog and some water and drove to a subdivision about 5 minutes from our own. We parked the car on the main street in the subdivision. We picked a shady spot that wasn’t in front of anyone’s home. As we stepped out, I noticed a gentleman across the street. He was standing in his garage and he was looking at us. It must have been about 30 feet away. I didn’t think anything of it.
 
As we started walking, My husband asked a familiar question about price of homes in this subdivision. We are wondering these days what home prices are doing in our little world. We really liked this particular subdivision. I suggested that he Google the price of one of the homes as we walked by- just to check and see. Accepting my suggestion, he produced his cell phone and proceeded to speak into the phone an address from one of the homes we were walking in front of.
 
We then walked around for an hour. There were several other people out walking on this sunny Saturday morning at 10am. In fact, there was an older man, 6 foot 5inches-ish, well-built and stocky riding his electric skateboard around us. It seemed like everywhere we went, he was there. Again, I thought nothing of it.
 
When we got back to our car, the man across the street in his garage started walking towards us. It’s as if he was waiting for us to return. He looked upset. I then realized this was the same man that was on the electric skateboard.
 
He approached my husband and inquired if he could ask us a question. We replied in a friendly and curious voice, “sure”. He then asked us why we had pulled out a phone and spoken into it as we walked by the neighbor’s home.
 
My husband replied that we were neighbors a few subdivisions up. We had gotten tired of walking in our own neighborhood and decided to walk in this subdivision that we really liked. We were wondering about home prices here. He seemed instantly relieved. As he walked away, he said, “you would have done the same if I was in your neighborhood”. My husband and I paused and thought about it. We kindly replied, “maybe”.
 

 

What I learned

I have experienced much discrimination and racism. Growing up in Indiana as a refugee, I didn’t exactly look like everyone else. Kids were mean and not accepting. I know how it feels to be singled out. I know the pain and confusion well.
 
After this experience on Saturday, I realized that I haven’t been the recipient of discrimination a very long time. Until that Saturday.
 
I felt violated and misunderstood. Was this man fearful of us because we didn’t look blond-haired and blue-eyed? We couldn’t have looked any better; in our designer Saturday workout gear, driving a fancy sedan, with our dog. A dentist and a lawyer out for a walk.
 

What was going through his mind and why?

I came to the realization that he was scared. One would wonder what a 6 ft 5 inch, burly guy would have to fear on a Saturday at 10am on a busy neighborhood street.
 
Fear doesn’t have any logic. Fear is engrained in all of us. Fear is what discriminates, not our higher self. Fear doesn’t translate the same for every person.
 
His final reply said it all: “You would have done the same if I was in your neighborhood”. My husband and I discussed it much later. Would we have done the same? Likely no. We perhaps would have noticed him, but we would likely not have drawn assumptions, followed him, waited for him and then confronted him. No, not at all. I think he realized the same, too. He felt he had to defend and explain himself, so he gave his reply.
 
I learned on Saturday that fear drives us to not see the humanity in our brothers, sisters and neighbors. Fear drives us to discriminate and then have to shamefully defend our decisions.
 
I prayed for that man on Saturday after we got home. In my meditations, without pity or anger, I held him in love and kindness and prayed he would develop a new perspective and choose to see a new perspective.
 

What does this mean for you?

Perhaps stop and consider when in your life you’ve been misunderstood, singled out in a negative way or done the same to another?
 
How did it feel being on the receiving end? Did it feel painful and frustrating? Perhaps even confusing like it did for me? In those moments, the hurt is great and so is the confusion and incredulity.
 
How did it feel being the one singling someone out? Were you angry? If so, were you able to dissect your anger and get to the root of it? Did you discover you were actually afraid, so you decided to focus on someone else, perhaps as a means to ignore and overcome your fear and anger? Were you trying to justify or explain your behavior to another, perhaps even to the person you were discriminating against? Why?
 
Discrimination isn’t reserved to “bad” people. Discrimination happens to all of us and by all of us. I can stop and think about many times where, despite being an immigrant, I discriminated against others. We can call it implicit and subconscious, but that doesn’t change the results. It’s still a way where we don’t accept another person and choose to make life difficult for them. We can focus on an entire classification of people and animals to discriminate against.
 
Discrimination is subtle and can be small. It doesn’t have to be as obvious as the movies portray.
 

Exercise:

For this exercise, please take a journal. For an entire week, I want you to note every thought or action you take against another person or group of people that results in them being singled out and not accepted by you. You will need to stay self-aware. Write down how you felt in that moment and how you justified your actions. Stay curious and don’t judge yourself. Curiosity keeps out judgment.
 
Note, this exercise will NOT feel good, so you may likely want to avoid it. Don’t do so. Change starts with each of us taking actions that help us grow. Growth doesn’t necessarily feel good always.
 
What does this have to do with your brand? Courageous brands win. Inclusive brands win. Kind brands win.
 
Want to do your part to stop discrimination? Sign up for Virtual Branding Bootcamp. Developing your own brand is an amazing way to know yourself, accept yourself and focus on yourself. Only then, do we all have the capacity to accept others and their brands.

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