Written by Katy Goshtasbi
Posted on: January 18, 2016
My life has gotten way easier over the last several years. In particular, my relationships have become much more fun and easy.
It used to be that if I scheduled time together with a friend or colleague, I had lots of expectations of them: I expected them to be on time, I expected them to entertain me, I expected them to be amused by me, etc. The list was long. In fact, the list was so long, it always left me disappointed. Why?
Because my friends and colleagues never lived up to my expectations of them. How could they? After all, I never once conveyed what I expected. Nor did I do anything to make sure my expectations manifested. I never once told a friend that I expected them to show up on time and to be fun to be around. But I expected them to just know what I expected- like they could read my mind.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Expectations lead to nasty results. When we have certain expectations in our lives, two results happen:
- We become James Bond-ish- we never convey our expectations to others, ensuring that our expectations remain the best kept secret ever. How stealth of us.
- We get lazy– we take absolutely no action personally to make sure our expectations become our reality.
This is the perfect lazy brew for disaster: “You should know what I expect and I’m not going to take responsibility for my own expectations. Ever. It’s all on you to make me happy”.
So how did I manage to turn things around for myself after years of suffering (poor me!) with friends and colleagues who never delivered on my expectations?
I started to set intentions, instead of expectations. In my mind, intentions are very different than expectations. Intentions are about me choosing how my life will go. Intentions keep me in my personal power and that’s an attractive brand. Intentions are grounded in reality and always include:
- A plan– I decide what I want to happen in all of my interactions with others and with myself. I then plan for it to make sure it happens.
- Responsibility– I take responsibility for life working out for me, my way. No one else gets the blame. No one else gets the rewards.
What does this mean for you? Stop and consider:
- What expectations do you have of others and yourself in 2016?
- Where are those expectations going to fail you and leave you with an unhappy and less than optimal brand?
- How can you set about turning those expectations around so your brand shines- what intentions can you set, instead, that will leave you in your personal power and control of your life and brand in 2016?