self-confidence Archives - Puris Consulting
Setting Our Own Brand Value and Self Worth

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Posted on: October 10, 2016

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Just the other day I was on an airplane again. I fly all the time. On every flight I find myself caring too much about what the other passengers think of me. How do I do it? Well, it shows up in every aspect of my “being”- from what I eat and drink on the flight to what I read or write on the plane.

It’s just crazy, right? And don’t judge me- you know you do it, too. You just don’t want to admit it because you don’t want us to value you less.

Some times I think I spend more time thinking about this stuff than about myself and how I feel when I’m on the plane. And this is from someone who develops other peoples’ brands for a living. I’m fully self-aware and know the impact of us not setting our own self-worth and value.

Do you ever wonder why we all care so much about what others think about us?

It can’t be self-preservation. Frankly, all the energy I expend on making sure I look “good” to others on the plane is just exhausting. It does nothing to make me feel better to try so hard. If anything, it is “anti” self-preservation.

It also can’t be because I really care about what others think of me. I’m likely never going to see any of those people again once I step off the plane.

Yet, I fall for ego’s trick, too—even on airplanes with people I have never met and will never meet again.

So the real inquiry is why do we allow others to set our value for us? Why is it that we can’t have a high enough self-worth that it doesn’t really matter what others think of us?

Why do we allow others to set our self-worth and set our value?

The real reason is that we are so afraid to look deep inside because we may discover that we are loveable and great. If we look inside, we may find ourselves worthy of love- our own love and that of others. If we did, then what anyone else thinks of us would not matter- we would get to set our own value and worth.  That’s very liberating, not to mention not so exhausting. That’s also an attractive brand.

What does this mean for you? Stop and consider:

  • How often do you allow what others think of you to matter more than what you want to think of yourself? Be honest with yourself.
  • Why do you do it?
  • Where is one place in your life experience and activities that you could allow yourself to be “free” and set your own value/worth and brand?
  • What if you just didn’t care what others thought of you- that includes your friends, family, colleagues and strangers? I guarantee you that you would be happier AND more productive. You would have a stronger sense of self, making you more attractive to others.

Was this helpful? If so, please share the blog and help others, too.  

Got questions? Feel free to email me directly: katy (at) purispersonalbranding.com

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Self-Confidence & Leadership

Written by admin

Posted on: December 5, 2011

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I ended the last blog post with the notion of self-confidence. Specifically that people are attracted to someone with high self-confidence.   At Puris we use self-confidence, coupled with stress, as a big gauge to see how your personal branding is working.   The main result of our work with clients is that their self-confidence goes UP when we help them create an effective personal brand.

When you have high self-confidence, it means everything is working well for you, including your personal brand.  High self-confidence correlates to high productivity, high morale, reduced stress and effective behavior as an employee and a business owner.

It also is true that self-confidence is tied to effective leadership.  Leslie Pratch*, a clinical psychologist, headed such research at the University of Chicago.  Here she investigated the longer-term personality predictors of leadership.  The research found that there were definite gender differences involved with respect to being self-confident and being an effective leader.  Most notably for you and me, Pratch found overwhelmingly significant that women must have high self-confidence and self-esteem in order to be perceived as an effective leader.  Men on the other hand are more expected to be self-confident, so we don’t judge their leadership on self-confidence.

What does this mean for you?  If you are looking to grow your business or get promoted or just be taken seriously and noticed more- then you have got to be perceived in a leadership capacity of some form.  This means you must have high self-confidence and self-esteem.  A strong personal brand is based on high self-confidence.  The more you “get” your personal brand and develop it, the more your self-confidence grows.

No one wants to work with, promote, listen or follow someone who doesn’t appear, and is not, sure of themselves.  This is especially true if you are female.  So go out there and develop an effective personal brand to boost your self-confidence!

*You can read more on Pratch's study on her website, Pratch & Company.
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