How You Feel About Yourself Shapes Your Reality: A Guide to Self-Awareness

Do you pretend to like yourself? Are you good enough? So many of us struggle with feeling “good enough” in various roles we play in our lives. I know I have shared this struggle with you.

Let’s explore in this post how self-perception impacts external reality and I’ll give you some practical steps to take so you can come out of the gates ahead in January 2025 and beyond. That’s a great thing, right?

Why Do We Doubt Ourselves?

I remember so many times where I wondered whether I was a good enough lawyer even though all the external signs said I was a good enough lawyer.

For example, maybe you think to yourself:

“Am I a good enough parent?”

“Am I worthy of a raise/more salary?”

“Am I really worthy of this big job as Fortune 500 company CEO?”

“Am I a good enough spouse/significant other/sibling/adult child?”

These are all common thoughts we all have and that’s ok.

Why do we doubt ourselves and not believe we are “good enough”? So much of this has to do with societal and personal expectations. These expectations likely stem from childhood experiences. Those experiences on their own may not have felt traumatic, yet the way we processed the experience as a child impacted us deeply to where we carry those negative emotions associated with the experience forward to adulthood. We then allow societal and personal expectations to control us, leading to doubting ourselves.

Many refer to this as our “baggage”. I always know I have tapped into my baggage when the following occurs:

• I hear some version of “I’m not good enough”
• I start to think about past events and wrongs
• I can’t stop thinking about past events and wrongs

My reaction to the current event that triggered my baggage is WAY more extreme and intense than it should be in relation to the actual event. For example, I remember getting locked out of the house from inside the garage. Every time it happened, I would freak out and panic thinking I may die in the garage. Too intense a response? You bet. It wasn’t until I got rid of my baggage and negative emotions did being locked in the garage not impact me at all.

The Impact of How You Feel About Yourself

The problem with not getting rid of your negative emotions, and thus your baggage, is twofold. You continue to feel bad about yourself. Your negative internal dialogue continues to beat you up because you allow it to do so.

The second problem is that your internal dialogue shapes your external outcomes. What you believe about yourself shows up in your world- you see everyone around you with some version of your lack of self AND these beliefs about yourself influence others’ perceptions of you.

It’s 2025 now and you deserve better. We all do. It’s time to give up being mediocre and start showing up as the powerful person you are. It’s time I do the same. I’m right there with you! No one is immune from the self-doubt and lack of self-love. Each of us has a choice to make.

If you’ve read this far, then odds are that you are ready to start living your best life in 2025 because you feel you are done with the same old stuff that keeps you feeling stuck, unsuccessful and unfulfilled.

If so, I’m so proud of you. Yay for you!! Let’s take some small, easy, gentle steps. See below…

Watch This: How to Start Transforming Your Self-perception in 60 Seconds

Need a quick summary? Check out this 60-second video on how to start transforming your self-perception today.

3 Simple Strategies to Build Positive Self-Perception

1: Decide you deserve better—it’s your right to grow.

It’s 2025 and looks like you have already started the process of knowing you deserve better. For all my clients, the idea of not growing is intolerable. I’m the same way. Regardless of what happens next, you have chosen to no longer be an effect in your life! You are saying you want to be at cause in your life in 2025. Feel that power. I feel it for you.

2: Start noticing your self-talk. What emotions come with it?

The next easy step is just to start to notice your self-talk. What are you saying about yourself? What emotions are triggered? What limiting beliefs are coming up besides “I’m not good enough”?

You may want to resist doing this step. It’s uncomfortable and forces you to confront your “yucky” stuff. You are much stronger and braver than your yucky stuff. Remember, you have already decided you deserve better in 2025. Keep going. Sit with the yucky stuff. Sit with whatever emotion is triggered. I know when I do this step, I have to sit with anger, shame, guilt and fear often. I cry. I yell. And then…..all that negative emotion subsides and I choose to be powerful.

3: Do 5 minutes of mirror work daily.

The last step is to stand in front of your mirror and say something kind to yourself. Louis Hay was a master of this technique. I learned from Louis. Start by standing in front of the mirror and saying to yourself something kind and gentle and easy like, “I’m willing to start loving myself more each day”. At first this may feel very uncomfortable. I promise it gets easier. The goal is to do 5 minutes of mirror work daily. Start with 2 minutes and see what happens. Journal on the insights you gain.

Final Thoughts

Know that by taking the three simple steps I listed above is going to allow you to create a magnificent 2025 for yourself and those who experience you.

Growth is a journey and starting small and gentle leads to transformations that will make your personal life more satisfying and your career and business a success. If you are already successful, loving yourself more and releasing self-doubt and your baggage, will allow you to have fulfillment. After all, what good is your fancy title of CEO or Managing Partner and all the money that comes with it if you are not fulfilled and feel no peace in your life?

You’re worth it all. You deserve it all. You are in control of it all.

Start your journey today by watching the video and applying these steps. Reach out to me and let’s discuss what a BreakThrough Session looks like so you can easily and gently release your negative emotions and baggage that no longer serve you.

2025 is your time. May it be your best year yet.